Tell me if this is at all familiar to any of you…
WRITER sits with hands poised over the keyboard. Suddenly, their MUSE runs in.
WRITER: You’re late, as usual. There’s only half an hour to go.
MUSE: Yeah, well, I’m here now. So, go on then.
WRITER: I need some input from you!
MUSE: Listen, don’t take this out on me. Who signed up for this challenge in the first place?
WRITER: (muttering) Me.
MUSE: Exactly. And now here we are on day 23 and you still expect me to be doing all the work?
WRITER: You’re my muse. So ‘muse’ something!
MUSE: Like what?
WRITER: I don’t know. I just need a play that’s complete and doesn’t stink, then I can submit it and get on with more important things.
MUSE: More important than me, you mean. Charming!
WRITER: Yes, real life, job, shopping, answering emails…
MUSE: Stalking people on Facebook and eating your own body weight in crisps more like.
MUSE: It’s true!
WRITER: Are you quite finished?
MUSE: Aargh! Okay, man goes into a bar…
WRITER: Not a sketch, a play.
MUSE: Oh, like you’ve ever cared about that. How about, um, boy meets girl, they fall in love, but it turns out their families are at war and so they decide to elope and…
WRITER: It’s been done.
MUSE: Oh, yeah. Okay, how about a woman gets a robot to replace her husband…
WRITER: We did that last year.
MUSE: But will they remember that?
There is a moment while WRITER considers this and MUSE nods encouragingly.
WRITER: Let’s not take the chance. Argh! I can’t stop now. I’ve… we’ve got all the way to day 23, we can’t give up now… wait, I’ve got it!
Writer starts to type frantically.
MUSE: Is it great?
MUSE: Is it pretty good?
MUSE: What’s it called?
WRITER: ‘Writers’ Block’
MUSE: You’re welcome.
WRITER: Thank you. See you tomorrow?
MUSE: Do I have a choice?
WRITER: Not really.